Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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