so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
