my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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