I want to walk on stilts...naked
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
