I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
