i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
