There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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