There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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