I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
