You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
