The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
