Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
