Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
