I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
