she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
