i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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