i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
