Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I want to be your penis for a week.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
