every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
