walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
