just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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