Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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