I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
