Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
