Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
