id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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