Non-Jews are for practice
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
