i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
