i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
