Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
