I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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