Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
