This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
