Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
