I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
