What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
