fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
