Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
