Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
