and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
