did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
