how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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