People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
