Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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