Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just had sex bonerless
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
