If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My bed smells like the plague
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