doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
