Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
