And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
