Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
