I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize