just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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